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Random Thoughts: Two for the price of one

April 5, 2013

Neat commercial. Ear wax cleaner. Safe, easy to use. No more cotton sticks in the ear to puncture the eardrum. Great idea. Only twenty bucks.

Wait a minute. What are they saying now? Two for the price of one. We need one for each ear? Hold on there. That might not be a bad idea. Now there’s no need for a quick search for a hostess gift for the next party invite.

Oops, the guy is still talking. What’s this about a small processing and handling fee for that second one?

How much here? Have you noticed there seems to be a trend anymore to give us two for the price of one? For the most part, we usually only need one of anything. Maybe if that $20 item had been cut down to $10, we might buy more often.

But, as you say, we do like that product, so let’s buy. We’ll find a place for the second one, and let’s hope that small processing and handling fee isn’t too much. Funny thing is, they never tell how small that fee is going to be.

Remember, two is good sometimes. Just think of leaving the house only wearing one shoe or sock. Those fellows come as a pair.

Somehow, if we follow the commercials, we might get overkill here. Remember, it’s two for the price of one. And most of us don’t wear two pairs of shoes at the same time, ‘cause our feet would hurt and we’d look weird. Now, before you say anything, yes, some folks do wear two pairs of socks on occasion.

The list goes on and on for products that give us two for the price of one. We can purchase a lantern that never wants to wear out, or a green skillet that allows your food to slip and slide, and now the new guy on the block, a tablet holder.

This is not the time to ask who needs anything to hold a tablet because we are not talking about that 70-page recycled paper tablet some
of us used in school a few years back.

No, this tablet is one of those new technology gadgets that does just about everything for you but wash the dishes. And since it is an expensive item, it has to be held firmly on the lap, lest you drop it when you stand up. Before you ask, yes, it is a two-for-one deal.

The neat thing here is when you unzip and unfold the soft and fuzzy tablet holder, you suddenly have a neck rest. This is where having the two for the price of one comes in really handy. Once you have the neck rest out, just how easily do you think you can get it back into shape as a tablet holder? Want to take bets on it?

One of the many things not made in this country is an item that almost all women wear and wish they didn’t, but fashion so decrees it. Why a wisp of smoke from a bottle is the name of the lingerie item in question is a mystery since the item is for women. Don’t most genies look like men? Besides, the item is made in Sri Lanka. Bet they don’t even wear the things over there.

Buying on television is a convenient way to go. No worry about trying to find a parking place, no long lines at the cash register, and the store is always open.

The thing is, what you buy will be in your hands without you having a chance to really see what it looks like. It could turn out not to be quite as attractive a deal as the commercial promised, and to send it back is going to be a hassle.

If you want your money back, the free item — for a small processing and handling fee ­— also goes back.

Sometime later in the month, a credit card bill will arrive, perhaps at a time when the money is no longer available. Now what do we do?

Well, have you ever been in a store that has a section of products “as seen on TV?” Many times, the commercial states you can only buy the advertised product via the offer on television, but wait just a bit and there it is in your local store.

Don’t complain that you have to pay state sales tax. Yes, you do, but you have the product in hand, and you can see what it looks like and can read the labels. Oh, and there is no sign that says you have to buy two.

The point in all this is to try to shop locally or as close to home as you can.

Last month, the teaser asked what sort of things were celebrated on Feb. 23, and it turns out there were two fun days and one serious one.

Feb. 23 is a day to celebrate banana bread and dog biscuits. It is also the day in 1945 that the American flag was raised on Iwo Jima’s Mount Suribachi.

Did you know any of this? Well, now you do.

Roberta Dinsmore can be reached at random rmd@yahoo.com.

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