McGuire's Musings: The end of summer
Someone told me the other day that "summer is over," which I personally find offensive.
How could someone say such words to me when we haven't even had summertime weather as of yet?
So, I've decided to ignore this announcement, which was based solely on the chilly weather we've had as of late.
When I was child, the words I grew to hate were "back to school sales are going on."
Now, it is a love/hate relationship, since I'm a school/office supply junkie, and I thoroughly enjoy examining and purchasing the many notebooks, reams of notebook paper with wide-ruler margins and three-ring binders and book bags and briefcases.
I remember the most coveted school supply of my generation was the 64 box of Crayola Crayons with a built-in sharpener.
That was a status symbol back when I went to school in the dark ages, when I used to walk 40 miles to school one way in my bare feet with no shoes.
In elementary school, another treasured school supply was the Laddie Pencil, which was the primary writing device when I first learned to write cursive.
Does anybody even write cursive anymore?
Take note, I never said I liked using brand-new school supplies; I just enjoyed owning and shopping for them, which has carried over into my adult life with office supplies.
I've recently become hooked on gel pens; they are sweet. It's like writing on air; it is so smooth.
A really neat, and most-coveted school supply is a gigantic pink eraser.
My dream lunch is a brown bag lunch, to be consumed at one of the major office supply stores.
Although when I was younger, I did enjoy a good lunch of paste, which smells better than it tastes.
I did admire a few teachers over the years, mostly because of the fantastic office supplies they utilized, whether it was a briefcase or a Squibbs loose leaf planning/grade book.
Oh, those were the days of shopping for school supplies.
Back to summer — did we even have summer around here?
Last year, we disposed of our 30-year-old room air conditioner, which had seen better days.
Many of you may remember that we had a week where we had sweltering temperatures with high humidity — summertime weather.
Based on that weather, we purchased a new air conditioner, which even comes with a remote.
The remote doesn't work; I tried watching the ESPN Sports Center on my air conditioner, and all I could find on there was a channel called "Cooler."
Another thing I dislike intensely is when someone says, "The Groundhog Festival is over," which translates into "Summer is almost over."
I disagree; it's not over, and we should quit talking as if it is.
Granted, the weather we've had this summer has been stinky at best, but I'm hoping to use my air conditioner with the fancy remote at least a couple more times.
My favorite childhood summertime memory was when the ice cream truck came down our street.
Not just any ice cream truck — the Mister Softee Ice Cream truck.
Mister Softee was the the first ice cream truck that had soft-serve ice cream served through a sliding window in front of your house.
The worst punishment I would receive was when my Mom would forbid me from purchasing that delicious soft serve at the end of my driveway.
So, is summer over? I don't think so; I predict at least a few more days of sweltering weather coming our way, where you can actually fry an egg on the sidewalk.
Usually, that is called "when the kids go back to school."
Truthfully, I just want to be able to use my new air conditioner with the remote at least one more time.
Maybe I can even find a few more channels to watch on my new AC unit, such as the Weather Channel.
However, I'm ready for football season to kick off, which is the official beginning of fall and maybe winter, too.
— Spirit reporter Larry McGuire is a multi-tasker — he can type and eat ice cream at the same time.