Editor's Note: Sometimes, life knocks us down â€” literally. This week, the flu had me down for a day, putting me a bit behind schedule, and I was unable to write a column. Fortunately, I was browsing last year's columns, from when I was on the sports pages, and came across this column. It is one of my favorites I've written and one that led to the most "I can relate," comments. I hope you enjoy!
Over the course of the past week-and-a-half, I've been doing a lot of thinking about dandelions.
So what's the deal with tall people?
They think they're better than everyone just because they're a little bit closer to the sun and know when it's raining slightly before everyone else.
They're always hitting their heads off stuff, and they don't fit into anything.
If you happen to get into place behind one of these redwoods at a parade or sporting event, good luck seeing anything.
Admittedly, they're ideal for basketball, volleyball, high shelves and chicken fights in the swimming pool, but other than that, what are they good for?
It's dark. You've gotten up out of bed at 4 a.m. â€” or never went to bed to begin with â€” and all in the name of hunting a spring gobbler.
For the last 15 years or so, I've been out with my oldest son, Joe, in pursuit of the elusive spring gobbler.
I say elusive, because these turkeys have nothing to fear from me, since I've not successfully harvested one of the big birds in all of these years.
Not only have I not harvested a bird, but I've never even seen one up close enough to fire a shot.
One positive is that I save a lot of cash by not having to buy shotgun shells every year.
It is an exciting time to be a sports fan.
In fact, I would argue that every single day is an exciting time to be a sports fan â€” except for that one day in the middle of the summer right around the Major League Baseball All-Star Game where there are no games scheduled. That day stinks.
But still, at least 364 days out of the year, it's exciting to be a sports fan.
Today, though, I might argue, is perhaps one of the most exciting days of the year to be a sports fan, at least this year.
A laugh a day should be part of everyone's makeup, but sometimes, the serious stuff has to intervene to make life interesting.
Many times this column will go for the laugh â€” if only for the month â€” but even the mundane has to creep in sometimes. This is one of those times.
May is a great month for fun and frolic with Mother's Day and Memorial Day, but for Pennsylvanians, there comes a day for thought and serious consideration.
Yesterday, after giving one particular Internet browser a trial run on my newer laptop, I decided to switch back to the one that I've used since college because I realized I missed some of the components I'd grown accustomed to.
I downloaded the new browser, opened it up and was comfortable once again.
It felt good to be back in the safe, comfortable arms of the browser's latest version, Zakintosh 3.0 (as we'll call it not to show favoritism or start any geek wars about the proper browsers).
Well, I was sitting around minding my own business one day when my wife, whom I refer to as "Dr. Linda," scheduled a colonoscopy for me last fall after a blood test showed that I had a low blood count.
As you recall in this little saga I call my life, we had done the Disney vacation thing in Orlando, and my colonoscopy was scheduled after that. If you don't know what a colonoscopy is, I'll just say the good part is they knock you out for it.
Some things in our lives are so much a part of us that we forget to realize that they're actually happening around us.
For example, breathing is something that we do constantly, but we tend to forget that we are even doing it until something makes it harder to breathe.
Or, perhaps we could look at blinking. We blink multiple times a minute, and yet, we hardly even realize we're doing it.
Desensitization is a normal, necessary part of life, because if we were fully aware of every single thing that we did, we'd go crazy processing all of these things.
So what's the deal with veggie pizza?
Why ruin something as perfect as pizza with fruit's less-popular and less-liked cousin, vegetables?
Vegetables aren't good â€” there is a reason why you have to cover them in ranch dressing and cheese to make them taste semi-edible.
I've never said, "Hey, do you know what this pizza is missing? Lawn clippings â€” now it will taste good!"
A pizza is a dish reserved for tons of meat, cheese, spices and whatever else you can think of to throw on it that will make your stomach hurt later.
When I was young, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer probably would have depended upon what stage of life I was in when you were asking.
I went through the presidential phase, where my one and only desire was to grow up, become president and change the world.
Another stage I flew through was the scientist phase, which allowed me to dream of growing up, discovering the cure to some disease and changing the world.
And of course, I went through the "whatever dad is" stage, where I wanted to be a carpenter like my dad was.